Saturday, May 23, 2009

First impressions

One often reads that “first impression is the last impression.” However I have learnt through my experience that first impression probabilistically is the most deceptive impression. I also think that I probably know the reason why it is so. I think it is because in today’s world (probably as long as human kind has existed) most people pretend to be someone else or trying to follow some rules set by some religious or philosophical gurus or some babas/matas or some religious scriptures or some self-improvement stuff. Most people go by these rules rather than the intent behind them. Throw them in difficult situations or situations where they have to hurriedly interact (without having chance to remember and follow the rules) and their real personality starts coming out. When you really want to change for better understanding the intent rather than following some rules, your actions come from your sub-conscious, very naturally, you don’t have to remember to behave or act in certain way. Of course, there are many self-improvement gurus who say that of you follow something with enough regularity and make it a habit, it starts coming out naturally after some time, just like riding a bicycle, once you learn it, you can do it any time again. It is hard to argue against these statements, but there will always be some difference. It is like no matter how many languages you become expert of but in some sudden event first words that come out of your mouth will be of the first language that you acquired as a child. Of course, this was all about the people who are unintentionally pretending to be someone else; I don’t think I need to write about people who pretend purposefully to get some thing out of you.
And, last but not the least; you never know under what conditions a person is behaving in a certain way. I am not saying you should totally ignore somebody’s bad behavior but you can definitely decide to give the person a reasonable chance (I am not talking about crimes, that’s a totally different discussion. Here I am talking only about the day-to-day behaviors). Only when you give another chance and interact more with a person, you start understanding the real personality of the person. When we act in a particular situation or dialog, there are so many different things going in our mind and each of those things affect the way we act. And, then there always our biases that make us interpret a certain behavior in a favorable or unfavorable way. I am sure, you must have met with at least some people, who look extremely repulsive in the first impression but as you start knowing them more and more, you like them and sometimes they even become your best friends.