tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-219086092024-03-07T13:40:47.368+05:30Thoughts galoreSane words of an insane mindnikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.comBlogger84125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-2474173920688358192013-12-29T20:52:00.001+05:302013-12-29T20:52:35.157+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div lang="en-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
This year
has been one of the change, especially latter half of the year. Of course, not
all changes have been pleasant or in direction I wanted to. Next year too, is
likely to be of changes and one major change in particular that is going to
change rest of my life. Hopefully next year will be good year. I don't know how
the changes are going to affect my life, hopefully it won't be bad. Still many
things remain undone and many things remain to be done. I hope in all this I
don't forget to live my life.</div>
<br />
<div lang="en-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
All the
best and a very happy new year to myself!!!</div>
</div>
nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-50213032401041342932012-12-31T22:08:00.002+05:302012-12-31T22:08:30.390+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today is last day and now last few hours of this year. Along with this year, I hope many things end and new good things start with the new year from me. Only few days back, I realized that by now I should have finished my doctorate but instead I am as away from it as I was five-six years back. With the changes that I had to make in my work, I have gone away from mastery I should have achieved and recognized for in my research area. With the new year, I am hoping I will be once again back to my area of interest and do the meaningful work that I want to do. Over last two years, although I have strayed away from my area of interest it was not all waste; at least the first 14-15 months were not. I am more like a person who has lost his memory, I hope something brings it back and I can start with the new vigor.<br />
<br />
A very happy new year to all!!!<br />
<br />
and A very happy new year to myself!!! Let it be the year where I can start taking decisions and taking back the control of my life.</div>
nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-9244962351323670442012-11-25T16:17:00.001+05:302012-11-25T16:17:42.632+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sometimes, I feel how nice it would have been if I had some kind of personal secretary to take care of all the day-to-day things, like buying things, arranging transport, etc. Although we think so much which brand, what features etc. for most of the day-to-day things, it hardly matters. Most of the average things can hardly be differentiated. But, if I have to make choice, I will think too much. If somebody else is doing it, I will happily just use the things. So much of mental pressure will be gone. I will happily spend time reading, doing work or whatever that I want to do.<br />
I have noticed that the way things work for middle-aged adult in India is so much married people oriented that it is really difficult for a single guy (and I guess must also be difficult for a single girl). Sometimes, just to avoid all that difficulties I feel like I should have been married. </div>
nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-31191313049118450752012-09-25T20:43:00.000+05:302013-03-29T13:40:01.609+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had yet another long break in my writing. Sometimes when I feel lost, I just read the things I have written before. Today, I came across a response that I had written on one of the acquaintance's post. Having become lazy, I thought I will just copy it here rather than write something new...<br />
<br />
<div class="comment-content">
<div class="comment-meta">
<em>Here it goes:</em></div>
I think somewhere in our externally forced learning, the internal voice within ourselves is suppressed. We are taught that there is one correct answer, there is one correct way of doing things; which, of course is an outright lie. Parents approve one correct way of behaviour; teachers agree to only one correct answer, that is their answer; at work, there is only one correct way of doing work, that approved by boss; society gives one correct way of progressing career (more money, bigger house, bigger car, etc.); we are told there is only one correct religion (well, we are taught to be tolerant, which is not same as accepting each religion might be right for the circumstances in which it came up) and as if this is not enough; nowadays there is also one correct way of managing your health (well different people will propose different things but everyone will insist that theirs is a better way), and even one correct way of communicating. Our basic style of learning in our childhood which is shaped by our teachers and parents, pretty much decides how much we understand ourselves. The ‘one correct way’ is enforced in all our dimensions of our life. The loss of our internal voice makes us dependent on external measures to know our self-worth thus reinforcing the vicious loop. We no longer know when to stop eating, we stop based on some arbitrary measure we have established for ourselves; we don’t know how much should we learn, we are habituated to depend on external measures like exam scores, performance appraisals, etc.; we can’t be certain of hanging out with a person until our friends have approving looks. Unfortunately not just we measure ourselves but also enforce those measures over other on whom we have the influence. We judge people based on what we have established as our one correct way and anyone who dares to be different,we discourage that person. But when the very same personn for some reason gains recognition we celebrate the same ‘dare to be different’ of that person.<br />
I think we start getting disconnected when we can no longer listen to this internal voice within ourselves. We can no longer be just one person, we try to adhere to different parts of our life based on the norms established in the circles of that part of life. In our office, we try to be like our colleagues, in social circles we try to be like our friends and families, etc. We are only one person, the mental, physical, spiritual, and social dimensions must not make us different people. I have come across many people especially in corporate world who think something else, say something else, and do something completely different. I wonder how do they live with themselves, but they apparently do, they do live quite well with themselves at least on the surface. We become aware of our spiritual dimension when we can have questions about ourselves that we cannot answer, we have questions about the world around us that we know nobody around us knows. But this one correct way fools us there also, we are no longer content with the question remaining answered or just exploring them without jumping on the conclusion; we want somebody to answer those questions for us and once we find somebody who answers, we rationalize our choice by saying well that person is like this and this how can he be wrong, or billions of people believe this so how can it be wrong, or it is wisdom of thousands of years so how can it be wrong. We force ourselves to accept or reject things as a whole rather than learning and keeping what is good with us.<br />
In a way, we human being have always had leaders and followers model and some accepted norms for living life. But, earlier the circles were small and made up of same people. With increasing globalization and connectivity, we are moving towards more and more accepted uniformity for larger and larger population, leaving more and more people disconnected. And we also have different circle of people for each part of our life; people at work, people with whom we hang out, our relatives, our family, our online friends, etc.</div>
</div>
nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-43267126851253563722012-05-05T11:32:00.002+05:302013-03-29T13:42:20.508+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is strange how we sometimes even get used to things that we particularly don't like doing. I changed the kind of work I do about more than a year back, initially because this new work had some elements that I like doing. But unfortunately, over time those elements were declared out of scope and I left with work that I don't particularly enjoy. Then, last 5-6 months went extremely busy with this work. Lot of meetings, interactions with people, rush-work and so on. And, suddenly things changed about a month ago and those meetings, interactions, rush-wrok stopped. Now, although I don't really liked being so busy at all, I feel as if something wrong. I don't feel right that nobody is sending me mails saying can you get this done by EOD or meetings and so on. I no longer have this report and that presentation to prepare. I can really only laugh at myself, how I always hated being busy and now I feel someting missing since I am not so busy.<br />
Hopefully, these changes will lead me back to the kind of work I love doing. Well, I do have lot of work to do which I consider as my personal committment and things that I want to do rather than somebody asking me to do. Lets see when I actually start doing those things.</div>
nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-13270565710841407112012-03-05T22:59:00.002+05:302012-03-05T22:59:31.028+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Many times I remain lost in my thoughts and sometimes when I am lost something enters into mind and remains there. Due to such habit one funny thing happened to me today. I was standing in line (oh yes! in my organization where every senior person talks of improving productivity, we have to spend minimum 20-45 minutes a day in lines)in office canteen for taking coupons for snacks. I wanted to have spring roll (today's special) and tea. While I was standing, the girl in front of me asked for fruit juice and then changes it to fruit plate or some such thing but the word juice remained in my mind and when it was my turn to take coupons I inadvertently asked for spring roll and juice. Only after I got back much less money than I expected I realized what I have done. I laughed at myself and decided to continue with juice rather than getting it changed from the counter. We don't know where our mind keeps floating and sometimes we do things very unconsciously. Unfortunately, in today's world we spend our days in similar unconscious way calling it routine and only retrospectively realize that days, months, years have just passed, we have not been able to do many things that we wanted to do.</div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-44034191631347625072012-02-24T23:25:00.001+05:302012-02-24T23:36:53.921+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Nowadays the world expects everyone to be an all-rounder. We have seen kids suffering due to their parents' insistence of being all rounder but even adults are not immune from these expectations. It is not just corporate world but even in social situations or in many kinds of relationships you are expected to be an all-rounder. You have to be the one who does all the work, also be funny, interact nicely with people, so on and so forth. While some of us are gifted with such all-round abilities, most of us are not and trying to align with these expectation of all round abilities we make our lives miserable. Sometimes you are an allrounder but not the kind that people around you want you to be. Most of us are fishes participating in swimming, tree climbing, running on ground, etc. all kinds of races. And we keep feeling guilty for not doing well in all races except swimming. Not many people even realize that they are participating in all kinds of races but they are lucky. Ignorance is bliss. The people who suffer are the one who realize that they are participating in so many races but cannot accept they are just fish and should not even participate in other races. Everyone has different priorities in life and one should at least remain true to their priorities in life. Priorities might change but that is fine as long as you are aware of it. I think every year people should be given compulsory holiday for 10-15 days without access to entertainment (chiefly the idiot box, movies, video games) and communication devices to force them to think what they are doing life and reflect are they really doing what they want to do. Most of us don't know what we want to do but again that is fine as long as you are aware that you don't know and you are prepared to do something about it when you realize what it is or experiment to find out what it is. </div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-77671015558761765552011-05-29T09:59:00.000+05:302011-05-29T09:59:06.001+05:30<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">'Why so serious?' asks the joker in 'The Dark Knight' and I would like to ask this question to many people in my workplace, more importantly I would like to ask it to myself also. In last few years I have got this bad habit of thinking about some serious or rather uncomfortable questions. I wonder what I am doing to myself or the circumstances doing to me. Few years back when I newly joined my organization, I was known for my always smiling face. Sometimes my colleagues use to ask me why am I smiling, and I used to say "Well, just like that." That smile on my face has vanished over the years. I still laugh a lot when some of us friends get together and we make fun of each other or tell jokes, etc. But, that smiling face has somehow lost in the past. I want that smiling face of mine back. I want to work towards making things so good for me and around me that I am smiling all the time again.</div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-1142945312988654282011-01-02T13:11:00.000+05:302011-01-02T14:10:09.859+05:30Facts from the corporate worldI was just going through my old draft posts, which I never published. I found this post, which I wrote almost four and half years back. Not all facts have been valid in particular to me but I have observed them around me all the time. Some of them are valid only for IT industry.<br /><br />Some of the facts are what I wrote 4 years back, the rest are additional ones.<br /><br />1. It takes only one manager to convert a simple commonsensical technique into a management fad and destroy it from its roots.<br />2. It is ok to apply any technique without understanding concepts and theory behind it. (root-cause of previous point)<br />3. To survive in corporate world you must have very effective filters in terms of your ears. Only what you want to do should be listened.<br />4. It doesn't matter whether what you say is conceptually more correct, more logical and more commonsensical, boss is always right.<br />5. Normally the person immediately responsible for you (immediate boss) is the person who least understands what you are doing.<br />6. If you want to learn how not to use IT, IT companies themselves are the best examples.<br />7. Since IT people make more money than there equivalents in other Industry, they think they know more things and better than others, while the reality is exactly opposite.<br />8. The more you know about the domain in which you are doing work; worse will be your perceived performance, more chances that you will not be allowed to do right things, more chances that you will be removed from doing that work<br />9. Agreeing with your boss is considered as substitute for responsibility to take right decisions.<br />10. Talking is considered as substitute for knowing (actually I guess this has been applicable from hundreds of years, you must have heard the proverb 'empty vessels make most noise') and people who talk the most are the one who are given leadership roles - so you know... why on average leadership in corporate world is so horrible<br />11. If you want your organization to suck at something, make sure you make it part of the goals for the people in their appraisals and the corporate system will make sure that all the genuine efforts will suppressed and discouraged in favor of enormous volume of absolute mediocre and fake efforts made to meet the goals.<br />12. It is not necessary to understand problem in order to provide solution. (especially true in IT industry), you just have to sell the solution, using some buzz words, calling it latest technology, saying some other client used it (doesn't matter that client is repenting the decision) - No wonder, very high percentage of IT solutions are such gigantic failures.<br /><br />Well, I just had a nice lunch and feeling sleepy, so I will stop with these for the time being. Anyone who happens to read this post (hmm.... ok, that can happen only by mistake), is welcome to add more facts in the comments.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-89659036635852367012010-12-28T15:35:00.003+05:302010-12-28T22:53:05.160+05:30Last two-three weeks, I have been putting lot of hard work to do certain things, that I am not sure whether I should be doing, and do not have enough clarity about them. Then, today I came across this quote.<br /><blockquote> "Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim" - George Santanaya. </blockquote>I wonder if it applies to me in my current situation. To some extent, it definitely seems so. I mean whatever I am doing definitely contributes to some shallow aim, which in conventional world are very important ones, but does it really contribute to what I want to do from my heart? I don't know, my senses are dead. After visiting my parents on the weekend, my mom mentioned that my approach to working was so much unlike me, not giving enough time to myself to recover or refresh my brain.<br /><br />The funny thing is I still don't know what to do, whether to keep playing the game which I will lose with 90% probability (assuming this is perhaps the final hurdle and if I cross it I will win the game) or to start a new game?nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-88492397928281314992010-11-27T20:08:00.002+05:302010-11-27T20:14:38.494+05:30'When was the last time you did something for the first time' goes the tag line for an advertise of a particular movie series on a movie channel. What a lovely line it is. Really, how boring we make our lives as we grow up. We go to the same damn place to work, we go to same restaurants, we always eat same kind of food and so on. As we grow up, we become more and more afraid of trying something new. Most people spend their entire life without really understanding what is that they enjoy doing the most. The place where I work is so personified by this attitude of 'afraid to change' that everyone is just stuck to their work they have been doing from years, the routine they are having from years. Sometimes, I wonder whether my insistence of putting a logical completion to my earlier work is really my need or am I also afraid to change? At least at this moment, I think it is my need and hope it never becomes fear to change something in my life.<br />I think at some level most people are not really afraid of trying new things. It is just that in today's world (or for that matter as much as we can see back in the history) we average people have made our life so miserable, so much constrained by conventions, social rules, etc. that once we reach adulthood we are supposed settle into routine for rest of our life or at least till we retire from so called work. We are afraid that our work (rather a beaten path called career) will suffer or family will suffer or health will suffer or what will people say, etc.<br />In a way I like, the way people in some European countries and countries like Japan, work for 11 months without taking any extra holidays and the go for a vacation for a fortnight or a month. Of course, most of them visit different place as tourists. Although it is nice to visit different places (especially it is nice to relax in naturally beautiful places), countries or cultures, tourism also becomes a kind of routine after some time. One can learn a lot through travel but for that going as a tourist, staying in a hotel, visit museums or some nature related points, take photos and come back is not really good idea. If you spend just one month in a different country or a culture interacting with people there and understanding their culture, you will perhaps learn more about life than your entire schooling may have taught you. You will realize how many stupid assumptions we make about life, about how we should behave, about what is good for us and what is bad for us, how many things we think are sacrosanct and then see those things have no value in other culture and it does not really make any difference or sometimes even betters your life.<br />Well, all these things apart I think it is nice to have one month off in a year, where you can get away from routine and have a nice recreational period, when you can be like small children with curiosity in eyes and itching to understand, try and experiment with new things. Ideally, entire life should be like that, But, why not start with one month? Well, can I do it? Hmm....nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-1679772011009425612010-09-24T22:13:00.004+05:302010-09-24T22:30:59.477+05:30Have you ever imagined, how difficult it can be to take a good photo of the moon in the night without having a 'lovely big zoom camera with freedom to choose many manual settings' and a tripod. Yesterday was pournima and probably better day for taking photo but I tried to take one today. Why? I don't know, I just went into the balcony, because it is very pleasant outside with little cool breeze due ti drizzle we had in the evening. I just had a look up and thought well I got to take photo, how often have I tried to take a good photo of the moon which I see daily. So, I took out my camera after almost 4-5 months and tried. First few photos, with auto mode could not capture anything except a white dot in the middle of plain black background and for the first time I started missing having a nice SLR or digital SLR camera with good zoom lens. Of course, the failure to capture a good image must be more of my lack of photography skills but what the heck, machines can always be considered inadequate, can't they? So, I went into manual mode, disabled flash, increased exposure, tried higher ISO settings and long shutter times, but to my dismay my hands are not steady enough to capture a good image for long shutter times and increased exposure only change whit dot to very bight white dot. Finally, the best image I could capture is the one uploaded here. That too, it looks better because of some small clods surrounding the moon. Well, sometimes simple things are ver<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQALq8kpjE0iJmJGMEL-UI4cjGuES9Au7W259GClCjA7Btr1hngIjliiUJbYI0_KbengnnpS0tbjsfU0j4X8Ldd2smR5k81-ScVGg2loZ8QTCe3mhi3XRuJ0pGXGGlVviZwUj-/s1600/IMG_1518.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 488px; height: 333px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQALq8kpjE0iJmJGMEL-UI4cjGuES9Au7W259GClCjA7Btr1hngIjliiUJbYI0_KbengnnpS0tbjsfU0j4X8Ldd2smR5k81-ScVGg2loZ8QTCe3mhi3XRuJ0pGXGGlVviZwUj-/s320/IMG_1518.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5520524967443553682" border="0" /></a>y difficult to get or capture.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-2012498814957663082010-09-19T20:45:00.000+05:302010-09-19T20:46:17.120+05:30<div>Nowadays, writing has become such an arduous task for me that it doesn't just happen. It is as if, somebody has sucked up all the mental energy needed for writing. I can react to people's writing through my writing but I don't feel like writing something on my own. Although most of posts are not really great, some of them do have good thoughts. Writing has never been my strength but sometime 5-6 years back, I found that it gives me some me some satisfaction. The funniest thing is that almost daily there is at least one thing I feel I should write something about, but I just can't get to my keyboard and start writing. And, if I sit to write, after two-three sentences suddenly all my thoughts dry up. All that chain of thoughts gets lost somewhere. </div><div>Well, this is not only happening to writing but almost everything I am doing nowadays. I wonder what are those things in our brains that help us going from just thinking to doing. I really need to fire them up. Or, may be convert some thinking energy to doing energy, can somebody invent such a transducer? It will be really useful for me, as I think too much. Well, sometimes even if you energy to do something, you still don't fill like doing it. You can hear a lot of lectures on how to get rid of procrastination but until the reason why you procrastinate is removed (assuming that reason is not just being lazy), nothing really is going to improve the situation. </div><div>Well, tomorrow I have to meet somebody who is going to question me, why I am not working. I feel like vanishing somewhere.</div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-38301911284534958142010-08-15T21:11:00.005+05:302010-08-15T21:24:35.289+05:30The Great Dictator - Last speechChanced upon this wonderful movie by Charlie Chaplin while surfing channel on the TV. This was his first talking movie, satire on Nazism and typical lovely Chaplin movie. At the end of movie jewish barber played by Chaplin who is mistaken as Adenoid Hynkel gives a speech. We may not have dictators like Hitler any more, but most of the speech still pretty much valid for today.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IGfLAtiUi1A?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IGfLAtiUi1A?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><div>I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. <b>We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all.</b> Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. <b>Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!</b> In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite! Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow! Into the light of hope, into the future! The glorious future, that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up! </div><div><br /></div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-30023861239242175922010-08-12T19:52:00.002+05:302010-08-12T20:29:38.844+05:30Long time, since I wrote. Why did I not write (asking myself)? Well, I did not feel like. Sometimes, in your life it becomes very difficult to sit and write something nice. When I started writing on blogs, for long time I hardly wrote and then I sometimes wrote about frustrations and some time about very random topics. Not that, I am trying to put my history of blogging here. I still observe a lot and feel like writing on lot of subjects but somehow the things are not coming together.<br />Overall, it has been a quite an unusual day today. For some reason I have been really relaxed today, to the extent that for some time I felt like, I don't have any work to do. All my work is done and of course as a result I was also feeling a bit bored. But, from last two days I think if there is one thing to learn that is people can really surprise you. Someone, I never expected will invite me for dinner, invited me for dinner; someone I thought generally is not very inclined to give feedback gave me a very nice and clear feedback on one of my ideas; and someone else who I always used to think is above some bad things in professional life seems to be stuck in those very bad things. All that I can see, is some difference of circumstance. The first someone, has probably come to accept the fact that however ever these guys may be (me and my colleagues), they are here working with me and some relaxed informal interaction may be nice. The second someone is looking relaxed since last two three weeks, may be some end of trouble for that person and that has changed that persons professional interactions very positively. While the third someone, seems to be changing from the moment, that person felt some threat to his reputation and his understanding of himself. I think it just highlights the fact that you might never understand a person without really taking his circumstances at present into account. It is always worth giving a chance if the circumstances are changing. I wonder how many people do I understand as they are their natural self, rather than the way they are in some forced situation. Of course, it is impossible a task. I think it is well known that forget about understanding someone else, we often do not even understand ourselves.<br />I guess this is enough for today's rambling.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-12423984248980763772009-11-05T18:41:00.001+05:302009-11-05T18:41:51.718+05:30 <br><font size=2 face="sans-serif">It is not a very common phenomena to wake up in the morning with the feelings that "I must fail tomorrow's exam". But it happened to me day before yesterday. As if to realize this feeling I could not give answers to many questions that I knew in yesterday's exam. What was even weird was this will probably the first time that I will be failing an exam and I did not have any bad feeling about it. However, almost in comical turn of events, I have not yet failed, but I have been given a chance, where I need to put in some work and I can save myself from failing. Some wise people say that most people quit just before their goal is about to realize, but how do I know whether it is about to realize or it is right time to quit. If you don't quit, finally you will achieve the goal but at what cost? Will it really be worth it?</font> <br><font size=2 face="sans-serif">I don't know what kind of answers am I searching for, but I am searching that's for sure.</font> <br> <br><font size=2 face="sans-serif">nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-50870422732301580462009-09-21T18:28:00.002+05:302009-09-21T18:46:02.971+05:30I was one of those lucky students in the childhood whose school was just five minutes walk from the house. I went today to a xerox shop in front of my school for copying some documents and after a long long long time, I was looking at my school with lot of time in my hand. After leaving the school, I must have passed my school thousand times, but somehow I don't think I waited and looked at it for some time. It almost the same as it was when I was studying there; at least from the outside. Except on the front sign showing my school's name, there is this funny text added that says, "ISO 9001-2000 certified"; couldn't help a chuckle. My beloved school has also fallen victim to trend of getting into standards unnecessarily. Well, let it be that is the most unimportant part. The building was never the part I was very attached to, although I do remember those classrooms and corridors. Whenever the school comes into my mind, I remember two things; one, my wonderful teachers and second, those carefree days. I wish I can be so carefree today. Adult life somehow doesn't make sense at all. Few months ago, I had this great urge to visit the school and meet my teachers, incidentally one of my classmates and long times friends happened to visit the school that time and informed me that hardly any teachers from our times are left in the school. Although that was expected ( I myself is 29 now), I felt sad and dropped the plan to visit the school. Many time when I am here and roaming around my place I will come across some of my teachers (especially my favorite ones like Chandane bai, Pawar bai, Afle bai,), but that hasn't happened. My school wasn't one of those hi-fi schools. It was simple school with limited facilities, but it was my world in my childhood and along with my home, that is the place which shaped the most important part of me.<br />Well, I just thank all my wonderful teachers. Wish they are having a great life and thank them again on behalf of all their students whose paths have been brightened by them.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-30664050933845175912009-08-16T18:22:00.002+05:302009-08-16T18:26:14.942+05:30sometimes, they say you need to compromize;<div>sometimes, they say you need to lie down;</div><div>sometimes, they say you need to let go;</div><div>sometimes, they say you need to accept the orders;</div><div>sometimes, they say you need to accept the world as it is;</div><div>sometimes, they say you need to forget what you like;</div><div>almost always, they say you need to be different than what you are</div><div>and yet...</div><div>sometimes, you just need to be you, gather the courage and fight the world</div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-24752798066664909872009-07-03T23:29:00.000+05:302009-07-03T23:32:13.897+05:30yet another day when I don't feel like doing anything. I just feel like writing and that too on paper using pencil or rather I am feeling more like drawing something using pencil and paper. So, what can be done?<br /><br />Likhne ko to bahut ji chahta hai,<br />magar likhne ke liye kuchh sujhta nahi hai,<br />likhe to likhe kya,<br />vahi do-char vishay rah gaye hai,<br />kabhi karyalay ki murkhta pe likhte hai,<br />kabhi likhte hai khudki jindagi pe,<br />kabhi likh dete hai is jahan ki buraion pe,<br />nahi vo bhi sujha to likhe dete hai pyar pe,<br />kya jindgai yahi reh gayi hai,<br />kya inhi chakkaro me vo khatam ho jayegi,<br />kya kabhi vo nayi subah hogi,<br />jab hum khoye rahenge apni hi dhun me,<br />har ek pal ka maja le rahe honge,<br />na sar pe mandara rahi hogi koi chinta,<br />na bachegi kisi ko kuchh sabit karne ki aavshyakta,<br />na hogi kabhi kami jindagi jine ke liye,<br />pyar hi pyar hoga is jaha me,<br />ulajh rahe hai hum is khwab me is tarah,<br />ki hakikat me dur ja rahe khwab se,<br />ye likhte likhte hum kaha pahuch gaye hai,<br />kyon khudsehi hum khafa ho rahe hai,<br />likhne ka to bahut ji chahta hai, <br />magar likhne ke liye kuchh sujhta nahi hai.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-37610757535554025612009-05-23T14:49:00.000+05:302009-05-23T14:52:21.943+05:30First impressionsOne often reads that “first impression is the last impression.” However I have learnt through my experience that first impression probabilistically is the most deceptive impression. I also think that I probably know the reason why it is so. I think it is because in today’s world (probably as long as human kind has existed) most people pretend to be someone else or trying to follow some rules set by some religious or philosophical gurus or some babas/matas or some religious scriptures or some self-improvement stuff. Most people go by these rules rather than the intent behind them. Throw them in difficult situations or situations where they have to hurriedly interact (without having chance to remember and follow the rules) and their real personality starts coming out. When you really want to change for better understanding the intent rather than following some rules, your actions come from your sub-conscious, very naturally, you don’t have to remember to behave or act in certain way. Of course, there are many self-improvement gurus who say that of you follow something with enough regularity and make it a habit, it starts coming out naturally after some time, just like riding a bicycle, once you learn it, you can do it any time again. It is hard to argue against these statements, but there will always be some difference. It is like no matter how many languages you become expert of but in some sudden event first words that come out of your mouth will be of the first language that you acquired as a child. Of course, this was all about the people who are unintentionally pretending to be someone else; I don’t think I need to write about people who pretend purposefully to get some thing out of you.<br />And, last but not the least; you never know under what conditions a person is behaving in a certain way. I am not saying you should totally ignore somebody’s bad behavior but you can definitely decide to give the person a reasonable chance (I am not talking about crimes, that’s a totally different discussion. Here I am talking only about the day-to-day behaviors). Only when you give another chance and interact more with a person, you start understanding the real personality of the person. When we act in a particular situation or dialog, there are so many different things going in our mind and each of those things affect the way we act. And, then there always our biases that make us interpret a certain behavior in a favorable or unfavorable way. I am sure, you must have met with at least some people, who look extremely repulsive in the first impression but as you start knowing them more and more, you like them and sometimes they even become your best friends.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-58546544516811046382009-04-23T22:42:00.001+05:302009-04-23T22:45:02.616+05:30Was just watching an ongoing sports tournament of a famous sports worldwide and found another fine example of the fact that the company in which work is run by bunch of brainless morons. My company is one of the sponsors for the last time champion team of the tournament, the players are sporting logo on their shirt and helmet. This would have been wonderful if my company sold products or provide services so that individual psychology matters and like when you go out buy a toothpaste, you remember some brand name because you saw it on your favorite sports person's shirt but my company provides services for big businesses. In the time of recession, where they are laying off (well, they are so called ethical people so they can't lay off, so kicking out people using all kinds of lame excuses) people, reducing salaries but wasting money on one of the most ineffective marketing strategies for the kind of business my company is in. I mean if my company sponsors some team or some event it should be technology or consulting competitions and events. That's where, CEOs or senior managers of the prospective customer businesses might notice the enthusiasm of the company or its willingness to learn new technology or to get into consulting space and demonstrate abilities in the same. Anyways, can't complain much, because this might not be as costly decision as some other decisions these brainless morons have taken in last one and half years.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-84822803765286606572009-04-17T21:31:00.003+05:302009-04-17T21:43:14.429+05:30I have final exam tomorrow, for the subject I started studying only today and here I am doing as much <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">timepass</span> as I can. Well! what should I say about myself. I am caught in two minds. At one end I am thinking that anyways I don't want to continue so why am I bothering, just enjoy as much as possible; don't think about studying and all. At the other end, I am still pretty much hoping that things will work out. The situation is quite silly since I am neither able to enjoy nor able to study. Indecision is definitely the biggest immobilizer for a man. One should take decisions, it doesn't matter, everyone makes mistakes and that's how you learn. I can preach all of this, but finding it difficult to follow. Probably these four months were biggest waste of my life, so be it or I should do something and make them count. There is no use just brooding over it. I also know that things never work out just by hoping they will, you have to make them work out; you have to stand up and take some action towards it. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">am not</span> taking any action. May be I should do something about it, well at this moment I am writing about it, may be this is the first step or may be my inertia of inaction will continue, who knows?nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-2766335403267430462009-04-07T22:37:00.002+05:302009-04-07T22:42:32.067+05:30I want to walk a different path. I don’t know what that path is, I don’t even know where I will find that path. I don’t even know what the destination is. Once I know the destination I might find the path. My opinions and belief are so different from most people in this world that all the paths that are currently visible to me, promise only unfulfilling journey or rather journey that will suck life out of me before I reach the destination. I have faith in myself but I am so lost that the faith itself seems to be hanging. I wish I had faith in god or divine or something that would have made things so much easier. May be I am trying too hard, may be I should stop trying. May be like, ‘Govinda’ in Herman Hesse’s “Siddharta”, I am also obsessed with seeking and this has closed doors for things that will present me what I seek. What should I stop trying, I don’t even know, what I am doing. It seems more like random things that I am trying to put together hoping that somehow it will make sense.<div>(hmm... I have been writing, but don't feel like publishing. I have one big post on politics but still mulling where I should post it.)</div>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-7528167719097139152009-02-28T20:55:00.000+05:302009-02-28T20:57:35.738+05:30It is amazing, I have so much work, so many things to do, and quite a lot of it is what I would like to do on my own, and yet all I can think of doing right now is to avoid everything and just go and hide somewhere for two-three weeks. I don’t know whether those two-three weeks will be enough. I don’t want to do anything for these two-three weeks, just laze around. May be I will do something if I really feel like doing something. I don’t know why I am feeling like this but the feeling is very strong. I have been planning to do lot of things today, but all I did was just nothing. Well, I did some bank work, but apart from that, nothing. I opened my laptop several time to study and write two documents I am supposed to write, but all I did was played stupid card games, connect to intent and keep reading webcomics. And, I always keep finding really interesting and good webcomics.nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21908609.post-31907740253780506942009-02-07T23:34:00.004+05:302009-02-07T23:39:19.075+05:30Hardwork kills....<p class="MsoNormal">Hardwork here is refered to doing only one kind of work/thing for long time, typically more than 10-12 hours in a day.</p><p class="MsoNormal">(Knowing that one of my office colleagues checks my blog once in a while, it may not be a good idea to post this. I can not say this post is entirely my idea, I think somewhere it is inspired from an essay written by Bertrand Russell which I read about 2-3 years back. I don’t even remember name of that essay. This post goes in bit different direction than Bertrand Russell’s writing. ) </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p>One bad thing happened to me in last few years is that I have stopped believing in hard work or rather. I am yet to see a person who works 14-16 hours a day and is truly happy. As the Indian proverb goes one must visit physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side once everyday. Working so much almost always screws up some other dimension of life. Yes, you can work for 14-16 hours on something that you really enjoy but can you be really happy if you are failing in some other dimension of life. I have seen so many times that people who have gone ahead working so hard, do repent on something or don’t have good relationship with their spouse or some other reason. If at the end of the day, when you are dying if you think, I wish I would have taken time out to do so and so thing, does it really matter whether outside world considers you one of the most successful people in the world? Sometimes the very fact that you are supposed to be happy by doing lot of hardwork and being successful by some outside world criteria <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>but you are not makes you do stupid things. All these so called hardworking people buy lot of totally unnecessary things to show off or rather to prove to themselves that they are happy and successful. Or they derive this illusory happiness by buying more things than someone of their same age or same field or position or something. Material happiness is the only thing that can be tangibly seen or shown so most of them run behind it. Of course almost all corporate support this hardwork theory because that is the way they can get more from you with the same money. They don’t really care about people, all they care about is resource utilization, after all for most of the companies people are just a resource and resource means cost. So you are a cost for them, unlike some machines used for long term or typically land is considered as asset, you don’t have the fortune to be called as asset. They want high resource utilization. And, no I am not a communist, I believe, communism is as much bullshit as capitalism. Just think, there is so much overproduction in the world, not just in terms of physical products but also in terms of services. Almost everywhere or sometimes the whole countries are going bankrupt because they can not sell their products or services. Even if we just go ahead and reduce working hours to half of the current for all the companies in the world, the world will lose absolutely nothing. Although just as every industrialist becoming a billionaire is creating few thousand or more jobs, almost each one of them is indirectly causing almost same or more number of people in the same or different country to not meet their basic needs. Being a human being I feel extremely sad for this. The business has somehow become strictly negative sum game, where there are too may losers per winner and even for those winner companies normally except for promoters and top management executives, most employees are losers. Efficiencies, cost cutting and automation have become synonymous with having hanging swords over employee’s head.</o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And, by the way, I am yet to meet anyone who can do quality work for 14-16 hours in a day. Most people steal the time in between some or the other way.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the end, you don’t know what to do. Hardwork as a great virtue, has been so much ingrained in our system that you don’t know what to do. Even though I have written so much about it, I have started this particular post by saying that it is the bad thing that I don’t consider hardwork is necessarily good. Of course, there is also other point of view in calling it bad thing. It is always easy to believe what most of the other people believe and go with the flow. It is very difficult to questions these beliefs and even more difficult to follow those if they conflict with majority. It complicates life too much. Unfortunately I have got too many beliefs that do not go with the majority.</p>nikonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09936736921757488128noreply@blogger.com0