"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim" - George Santanaya.I wonder if it applies to me in my current situation. To some extent, it definitely seems so. I mean whatever I am doing definitely contributes to some shallow aim, which in conventional world are very important ones, but does it really contribute to what I want to do from my heart? I don't know, my senses are dead. After visiting my parents on the weekend, my mom mentioned that my approach to working was so much unlike me, not giving enough time to myself to recover or refresh my brain.
The funny thing is I still don't know what to do, whether to keep playing the game which I will lose with 90% probability (assuming this is perhaps the final hurdle and if I cross it I will win the game) or to start a new game?