It is strange how we sometimes even get used to things that we particularly don't like doing. I changed the kind of work I do about more than a year back, initially because this new work had some elements that I like doing. But unfortunately, over time those elements were declared out of scope and I left with work that I don't particularly enjoy. Then, last 5-6 months went extremely busy with this work. Lot of meetings, interactions with people, rush-work and so on. And, suddenly things changed about a month ago and those meetings, interactions, rush-wrok stopped. Now, although I don't really liked being so busy at all, I feel as if something wrong. I don't feel right that nobody is sending me mails saying can you get this done by EOD or meetings and so on. I no longer have this report and that presentation to prepare. I can really only laugh at myself, how I always hated being busy and now I feel someting missing since I am not so busy.
Hopefully, these changes will lead me back to the kind of work I love doing. Well, I do have lot of work to do which I consider as my personal committment and things that I want to do rather than somebody asking me to do. Lets see when I actually start doing those things.
I think we start getting disconnected when we can no longer listen to this internal voice within ourselves. We can no longer be just one person, we try to adhere to different parts of our life based on the norms established in the circles of that part of life. In our office, we try to be like our colleagues, in social circles we try to be like our friends and families, etc. We are only one person, the mental, physical, spiritual, and social dimensions must not make us different people. I have come across many people especially in corporate world who think something else, say something else, and do something completely different. I wonder how do they live with themselves, but they apparently do, they do live quite well with themselves at least on the surface. We become aware of our spiritual dimension when we can have questions about ourselves that we cannot answer, we have questions about the world around us that we know nobody around us knows. But this one correct way fools us there also, we are no longer content with the question remaining answered or just exploring them without jumping on the conclusion; we want somebody to answer those questions for us and once we find somebody who answers, we rationalize our choice by saying well that person is like this and this how can he be wrong, or billions of people believe this so how can it be wrong, or it is wisdom of thousands of years so how can it be wrong. We force ourselves to accept or reject things as a whole rather than learning and keeping what is good with us.
In a way, we human being have always had leaders and followers model and some accepted norms for living life. But, earlier the circles were small and made up of same people. With increasing globalization and connectivity, we are moving towards more and more accepted uniformity for larger and larger population, leaving more and more people disconnected. And we also have different circle of people for each part of our life; people at work, people with whom we hang out, our relatives, our family, our online friends, etc.